Angels and Devils
by Psychodahlia
Summary: Kourryu discusses some things with some people.


I hate angels. Well, maybe hate is too soft a word. I loath angels. They took everything I've ever wanted. I was hurt when I realized Kikoyu had given up one of his eyes to Hisui. Back when he and I were lovers I always hoped I'd be the one he would decide to spend his life with. Then he went and chose some stupid angel over me. It hurt, but I got over that, he and I were cousins anyway and incest never really floated my boat and there were plenty of sexy demons to be had. Who am I trying to kid? It hurt then and it hurts now. I never told Kikoyu this and I don't intend to ever tell him but he's been my idol ever since I was a demonling. He was always strong and handsome and could do whatever he wanted. I always wanted to be just like him. How pathetic. Then I saw Shuichiro and I thought I'd been given another chance. I didn't try and seduce him just because Kohaku was in love with him. I thought if I tried hard enough I could make him into a human version of Kokoyu. Ok, bugging Kohaku was a bonus, but really, I thought I'd found someone who would appreciate me, even if I was, literally, a hell-spawn. What a joke. Shuichiro loved Kohaku and Kohaku loved him. I just didn't fit in the picture. Hell, I didn't fit in anywhere. Shuichiro liked Ruri and Hari better than he liked me. He would scratch them behind their ears and set out milk for them while I couldn't get him to look at me. Was it any wonder that they eventually started paying more attention to him than they did to me? Thus my two most beautiful, loyal and brainless servants were lost to a human. A human I had a crush on. Y'know what I hate about being a devil? When you're alone, that's it, you're alone. When it seems that angels and humans have no one who cares about them, they can at least count on God caring about them. But when you're a minion of Satan no one loves you. You're alone. It's okay though. Kokoyu isn't the only lover who's dumped me. And there are plenty of humans with better haircuts than Shuichiro. And there are lots of demons who would gladly serve me and are a lot sexier than Ruri and Hari. I don't need anybody. I don't need anybody. "Kourryu? What's wrong?' "G'way." "You're crying!" Hisui frowned and sat next to the young demon. "What's wrong?" "I.I'm alone. I'm all alone." Kourryu sobbed. Hisui looked worried and put his arm around the young demon in a parental fashion. "Shh. You aren't alone." "Kokoyu hates me." "Hush. He does not hate you." You're his cousin." Kourryu looked up at him with a face of unrivaled disgust. "Y'know Hisui, sometimes you're just as naïve as that nitwit, Kohaku." Hisui frowned. "What's wrong with you?" "Go to hell." Hisui scowled and stood up. He walked over to the house and disappeared. Kourryu watched him go and when he disappeared he buried his head in his arms and sobbed. That's the reason I'm alone. I can't open up to a soul. "Get up." The voice was harsh. Kourryu lifted his head to meet the glare of his older cousin. "You want something?" "Hisui's worried about you." The words were cold and there was a hint of threat in them. "Yeah, so?" Kokuyo growled. "What the hell is wrong with you?" "Do you think God loves you?" The query took the son of Satan by surprise and he blinked. "What?" "Your father sure doesn't care about you." Kourryu stated. "But God allowed Hisui to stay with you. Do you think it was just to make him happy, or because He loved both of you?" Kokuyo sighed and sat down beside his cousin. "Like I said when we found out God's real reason for sealing Kohaku in a tree, God's a big ol' softie when you get right down to it." He paused before continuing. "Hisui's been telling me about God, and from what he says.well, if God forgives human sinners, I guess he can forgive people like us." Kourryu nodded mutely. "So, what brought this on?" "I was." It was hard to voice. "I was lonely." "Oh." The two not-so-demonic demons sat for a moment, listening to birds chirping and the like, each enjoying the company of the other. Then Kokuyo reached over and pulled his younger cousin's cheek. "OWWW! You jerk! What the hell was that for?" Kourryu rubbed his reddened cheek, wincing slightly. "Don't mouth off to Hisui." Kokuyo said, pushing himself up from his position on the garden bench and making his way toward the house. "Oh, by the way." He turned and gave Kourryu a reassuring smile. "Just because I don't love you as a lover anymore doesn't mean I don't love you." He turned back around and sauntered off, leaving Kourryu staring after him.  
  
I didn't see that coming. It's pretty rare for Kokuyo to get all mushy on anyone except Hisui. Still, what he said.about God and the forgiveness stuff. I've never been exactly reverent towards the Creator of the Universe. Kohaku was always scolding me about that. Asking for forgiveness from someone I've never given much thought to, except as lunatic for sending Kohaku on any mission involving thought, isn't really something I'm used to. I'm a demon. I've done some bad shit in my life and until now I've never really thought anything of it. I always thought I could get the ones I wanted by seduction and charm. I never thought about getting the ones I loved to love me back. All this thinking is making me hungry. I think I'll go bug Hisui for some of that cake he was baking earlier. I might even think of apologizing.both to her, and to.  
  
End  
  
Author's notes- Well. That was strange. I never expected the fic to be this long when I started it. Wish belongs to Clamp, not to me, much as I might wish otherwise. The fic is mine, so no takey. Any comments, critiques, and death threats might be sent to xellos22@hotmail.com 


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